faded memories
by fantasias
Summary: Once upon a time, friends were real, school was a great place to be, and death seemed so far away. / or, the story of Claire Lyon's disastrous life. / for everyone who's ever been backstabbed by a 'friend.' or anyone who has b*tchy friends. / some events based on a true story. / AU, kinda clam / please don't read this if you don't want to. just me letting my feelings out.


**.:faded fantasies:.**

_a clique fanfiction based on a true story_

* * *

Once upon a time, Claire Lyons was just that short and bubbly girl with crooked teeth who was just too shy for her own good. She was just the small, blonde girl who sat in the corner during recess and stared at the other girls having fun. The girl who was underestimated, gossiped about, laughed at, and teased about. The imperfect girl who was bullied her entire life.

It all changed when she befriended Massie Block. How can she begin to describe this brown-haired, amber-eyed beauty? Massie was everything a girl wanted as a friend—she was funny, confident, popular, helpful, kind, and just about everything one can come up with. Massie helped Claire overcome her fears of public speaking, people, and teasing—but Claire wonders if that was all because she became instantly popular overnight.

Massie had transformed Claire from the mousy girl into one of the most envied girls in the grade, and Claire was beyond thankful to Massie for it. Claire did whatever Massie needed help with (which, honestly, was a lot. _A lot_. Mostly technical stuff like her tumblr account, but that was basically it.) It seemed to Claire that her life was just a rollercoaster going up, just like Augustus Waters from her favorite book, _The Fault in Our Stars_, used to say.

. . .

It all started in seventh grade. Claire has always been overly sensitive—too sensitive for her own good, in fact. She spent most of her time online, browsing Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr, and basically, Claire's life was mainly spent on the internet. It's not to say that Claire didn't have a life (she always went to all the events Massie planned. _Always_.), but rather that Claire liked her online self better.

Online, Claire could see if people were talking about her, and what they were saying. On the internet, Claire was even more popular, bright, and talked a whole lot. Claire even made some online friends, many of which were older than her and had much advice for her. Although Claire makes it seem like the internet is some sort of happy safe-haven or something, it sure as hell was not.

In fact, online was where Claire talked to Massie the most, through IM's and Google chat. Claire used to always talk to Massie whenever they were both online, and Claire never shared some information she had learned online with her supposed best friend forever. In fact, Massie never had any idea that Claire had depression, or personality disorders, or that Claire even had her own tumblr account that had more followers than Massie's!

. . .

Once upon a time, they were inseparable. Everyone thought that they were best friends, and that they each thought the other was perfect and amazing and pretty and whatever the heck was a compliment. Behind their smiling faces covered with makeup, however, were broken hearts and tears from the night before.

Or at least, in Claire's case, that was true.

In the middle of seventh grade (which was when Massie decided to spend more time online, rather than shopping and tanning and what not), Claire and Massie often got into fights, which resulted mainly in Claire crying her eyes out, or both. It was mostly Claire, though, who cried after such difficulties.

. . .

And then finally, one day, she broke. Claire Lyons had cracked. She was _sick_ of the way Massie treated her, in real life and online. Whenever Claire attempted to chat with Massie, Massie simply ignored her or replied with short and terse comments. In fact, it seemed to Claire that Massie's online vocabulary only consisted of "...", "oh", and "okay." But she knew that wasn't true—Dylan had told her that Massie typed a whole lot in chats with her.

So Claire knew that Massie wasn't making an effort to chat with her. When Claire and Massie had both discovered Google+, Massie immediately began to add everyone she knew into her circles, but then uncircled them after they circled her. (Typical Massie, eh?) She often posted more than forty times a day, and Claire tried her best to view every post and comment on them all.

But Massie tended to ignore Claire's comments on her posts.

. . .

It was too much for Claire. She couldn't stand her best friend acting towards her like this—ignoring her, avoiding conversation, running away at lunch, refusing to be partners with her at school—heck, Massie treated Claire like any other of those wannabes! And Claire was most definitely _not_ a wannabe. So what if Claire had less friends?

It made Claire depressed, to be honest. During those dark, dark days, Claire often spent hours crying on her bed, not caring who saw her. She ended up crying about everything wrong with her life, and when she was done, she still had hours of homework to complete.

But she really didn't care. The will to live was gone from her.

(You see, Claire had even typed up a long apology to Massie and emailed it to her, but Massie hadn't replied. At all.)

Claire Stacey Lyons was _dead_. She was replaced by Kuh-Laire Lyons, a girl who everyone learned to hate. A girl Massie and the Pretty Committee (her old friends) always teased, bullied, and made fun of, although it was obvious that Kristen, Dylan, and Alicia weren't doing it whole-heartedly. In fact, they still hung out, but in private - of course the three didn't want to lose Massie's privileged friendship.

. . .

But eventually, Massie took her friends away from Claire as well. Inside, Claire was slowly dying as the days passed by. She cried her nights to sleep, and didn't even bother to dress the best for school.

Claire didn't cut, though—she wasn't _that_ sort of depressed, but she was thinking about suicide. She thought about it everyday, and even planned her own funeral. She wondered if anyone would miss her.

It seemed like everyone hated her, even Cam, her crush, who used to always flirt with her and peek at her during class.

Claire's life was ruined.

. . .

Claire had decided on what she was going to do. She was going to go to school the next day, and act happy, bubbly, and talk to everyone. She would act like she was without a care and as happy as she could possibly be.

Then, later that day, when it would be almost night, she would take three pills too many, resulting in her death. So it wouldn't be the most painful, but it was still something. At least Claire could escape this hellhole she once called life. Something she once enjoyed having.

The plan went along perfectly. Claire waved at everyone, smiled at everyone, and waved away insults. (After all, it was her last day. Why not have some fun?) Alone, at home, with no one to stop her, Claire painted her nails a dark blue and opened the medicine cabinet and took out a container filled with small white pills.

She, after much struggling, managed to open the flask, and grabbing a cup of water, Claire gulped down the pills, one by one.

She lied down on her rug and closed her eyes, willing herself to die.

Her heart stopped beating. Her breaths stopped. And unluckily, there was no one to stop Claire from committing suicide.

It's not like anyone would miss her anyway. Everyone hated her, thanks to Massie.

. . .

Once upon a time, there was a blonde-haired girl who was broken by someone she once called a best friend.

Once upon a time, friends were real, school was a great place to be, and death seemed so far away.

But, of course, there's no such thing as a happy ending.

/

Cam Fisher places a bouquet of pink roses on Claire Lyon's gravestone, and he whispers, with a tear rolling down his cheek, "I had always had a crush on you. But now I know that I love you. You're beautiful, Claire. You'll never leave my heart. You'll be there, for eternity. I love you, Claire."

(But there is always someone who genuinely cares.)

* * *

**an:** i actually wrote this in an hour, and i typed away at top speed, because that's what happens when I'm writing about a topic that is based on events that have happened recently to me. all i did was add what i want to do, but won't because i know that there's people who care about me. but hey, /she/ can turn everyone against me if she wants. (so i apologize for any spelling and grammar errors)

um, i wrote this because i recently got into a fight with one of my close friends, who is supposed to be my best friend, and we are both not necessarily popular, but many of the earlier events in this fic are true. she does have more friends, though.

um, but anyway, i do not cut, lol. i'm just overly depressed and i really cannot do anything and i just have this feeling that she wants to turn everyone against me and that she can and i have a prince in shining armor like cam in mind. ahem if you know his name don't talk about it.

uh, you don't have to review, this is just a way for me to let go of some of the pain. yeah.

But hey, "My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations"! (:

oh and by the way, know how i mentioned Claire's online friends? based off of me, so helloooo coppertone wars friends. lmao i'm so funny not


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